A New Season

There was a time in my life where for 2+ years, my distrust of the people in my own "home" affected the trust I had with the people around me. I was silent a majority of the time and I would be afraid to look people dead in the eye, perhaps, because I didn't want them to really know me. I was so tired of letting people into my life to get close only to have them WALK right back out again as they freely took what they wanted from me. I was left burnt out to the point where I just let myself go & started focusing on the problem more than the solution. Yet, everyday, I was left barely scraping by with the constant thought that, "maybe one day, I'll make it out of here alive & live to see the light". • At the time, I didn't know why I was going through it, and it was the hardest battle I’d ever encountered in all my 20-something years. There was nothing but mad TENSION, ARGUING, ACCUSATIONS, & DIRTY LOOKS being served on the daily, left & right. I won't put the blame on anybody, but I fought long and hard just to make it through those difficult nights & to not let those types of people takeover my emotions and change my character. & It took EVERYTHING (& I mean EVERYTHING) within me to walk away from it without holding onto any bitterness towards those people & that situation. • Yet, I was at the point where I was still DESPERATE for answers. "Why did it seem like I could never escape it? Why could I never seem to find my way out? Why am I going through this when at a pivotal time when I should be enjoying my life like most of the young people around me? WHY?" But now, it's clear as day & I see how that time helped mold me into the person I am today - one who isn't afraid to stick up for herself & the people she loves no matter what circumstance she finds herself in. • Looking back, I'm thankful that I'm no longer in that season in my life. My joy is even 10-fold what it was before because now, I have the opportunity to be grateful that I can live & enjoy life again. I wake up everyday with an indescribable FIRE🔥 that's been lit up in my bones by the Father himself, & it's been growing steadily-faster, wider, larger, & DEEPER- ever since. All the insecurity, the doubts, the fears I had growing up are OVERRIDEN because of this burning FLAME within me.

• I don't share this with you to overdramatize anything or make you pity me or feel bad for what I had to go through. But it's because of this experience that motivates me even MORE to focus harder, to keep going, & to keep pushing myself forward to help other people realize that they, too, have the same strength. You just have to #Believe .🔥💯